Sunday, February 27, 2011

Priority management

These days I've been accomplishing a lot. But still I feel like I don't have enough time. I have so many creative projects on my mind. Yet I'm trying to force myself to finish the old ones, before I start new ones. Which works to some degree and then again not. Then I start something new and stay up late at night, bc I know I won't have time to finish it over a couple of evenings. There are things in my apartment I'd like to organise, some small things like unpacking bags (there are 4 bags by now, I don't even remember what's in them) or ironing a couple of items. Yet I don't get to do it. Last night I stayed up too long again. Which ended in a headache all day today. I took the longest nap with Lenara and still she had to pull me out of bed afterwards, bc I was still so tired. I am interested in looking into the job issue, but yet I don't find a quiet minute to do so. I think today my body sent me a pretty clear warning sign once again. I have to rethink my priorities right now. Whenever I feel overwhelmed and unsatisfied, it's usually the priorities that are not clear. I'm trying to accomplish everything at the same time, and yet it leads to nothing really accomplished in the end. Plus I was looking forward to meeting a dear friend with her family today, and it didn't work out. Frustrating. I think Lenara was really bored and annoyed with her tired Mommy today. So she kept provoking me with things she's not supposed to do. But it was too obvious that she was simply trying to play with me and get my attention. So I couldn't be mad at her. Yet I had a hard time focusing on her, bc I was so tired and trying to figure out what's wrong with my priorities right now. These past weeks I really liked the slow speed of my life. But somehow I feel like it's speeding again now. 24 hours are not enough. And I remember times in my life where I had the same thought. So I take this as an alert and very serious. I have a free morning tomorrow (so L won't get sick overnight and I can't bring her to the Nanny tomorrow, fingers crossed!). Will use it to relax and think. Not do or accomplish stuff. Wish me luck.

Added later:
And I feel so bad that I teach my little girl to pick up her stuff every night before going to bed, and I don't get to pick up my own stuff. Makes me feel horrible. What a bad example I am.

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