We survived Fasching Hell

Wow! What an experience. Remember my last post about an intense moment (Being tolerant)? Well today "intense" is not even said enough. I'm still in shock and I'm surprised, my baby is sound asleep.

We went to our first Kinderfasching.

To be honest, I had already been wondering all day, if we should go or not. I knew it would be crowded and loud and I wasn't sure, if Lenara was old enough to handle it. Little did I know HOW crowded and how LOUD it was going to be.

I remembered my own Fasching-history. Fun. So I was all excited to take my little girl for the first time.



We came late, so we didn't have to pay the entrance fee. Yay! The event took place in a local gym. It was huge. And most of it in the dark. Only some flashing lights - very hard to adjust to. When we arrived they had some games going on (like kids wrapping each other in toilet paper). We tried to adjust to the crowd. We didn't know where to look. I had difficulties to get oriented myself. Lenara's eyes got wider and wider. Most people were dressed up - fairies, pirates, anything! Anything!!! Crazy! Criss-crossing through the gym. Some of them crashing into my calves. No kidding.

Suddenly I was faced with an older and fatter version of a Highschool friend. Last scene I recall of him, was him driving drunk and totally crashing his car over 10 years ago. Next thing I see, is him - the older fatter version of him - with a toddler on his shoulders, a 5-year-old princess encircling us and a "Native American" wife sitting next to him. What a picture. I can just imagine my puzzled face. Some awkward small talk and off we went into the crowd - partying.

Well, not exactly. They put on dancing music. Blasting! B-L-A-S-T-I-N-G. I was worried about going deaf. Even more worried about Lenara and all those toddlers, infants, pre-schoolers and elementary kids around. Did they forget this was supposed to be a children's event? What were they thinking?! I was terrified.

I looked around. The other Moms didn't seem to notice the volume. Most kids seemed to have fun. Something wrong with me? I watched Lenara carefully. Trying to figure out, how she was doing. I felt awful for taking her in this place. She didn't really show any reaction. She generally seemed interested in what was going on and trying to figure out what all those people were doing. Next, a girls' dancing group went on stage. I was about to cry, as it reminded me of my own childhood dances I put on. I don't think it would have touched me at all, if I hadn't been in a state of emotional alert at this point.

Now, what to do? I figured, if we'd go outside right away, before Lenara figured out what this was all about (meaning: meant to be fun), it would be even more confusing for her. So I made us stay and kept watching her reactions carefully. She seemed to get used to the environment. She wanted to be put down on the floor. Older kids almost ran over her. She didn't mind. Just looked. And looked. And looked.




She didn't join the dancing action. But something caught her attention in the back corner. She took my hand and dragged me to that spot. Older boys were involved in a pillow fight. Lenara watched them for a little while and then it seemed like she worked up all her courage, ran foward, stole one of the pillows and came back to me - all proud. What? All princesses, fairies and belly dancers were dancing on the other side of the gym - and all my little girl is interested in - a pillow fight!? How amusing is that?! I love her.

While my head didn't stop spinning and ringing and flashing, Lenara warmed up to the whole scene and even started dancing with all the older kids. Once again she totally surprised me with her reaction.



I couldn't believe it! Have you closely listened to that song? It's about Burger King, McDonald's & Co. "I want it. I need it." Are they serious?! Is that a new marketing strategy? At Kinderfasching? Again: I couldn't believe it! Times have changed. Obviously.

I asked my daughter several times, if we should leave. No reaction. Going with the crowd. After an hour in that crazy place, Lenara turned to me and said: "Mommy, Lala rather likes shopping." I was relieved and we left to go grocery shopping.

Christmas Memories 2010

I have a bottle of wine next to me (I decided against a glass, in the end only one more item I have to clean)... some left over christmas cookies... simfy (simply red style) turned on the headset (hope I'll still hear Lenara if she wakes up)... way of celebrating my evenings (lately)... and enjoying those last christmas hours. It all passed so quickly. Weeks and weeks of preparing, waiting, celebrating advent... a couple of hours and it's all done.

We had a nice quiet Christmas Eve this year. In Germany, Christmas Eve is the main day of the festivities. The schedule of this day is the most special Christmas tradition to me. We went downtown Kirchheim in the morning as there are booths selling hot wine punch, where lots of people meet (that's why I go, not bc of the wine... really). Usually lots of old schoolmates are in town as they visit their families. I was looking forward to it, as lately I felt quite socially isolated. Unfortunately the weather had turned bad in the morning (snow storm), which I guess is the reason, why I didn't see many old friends. Or maybe they showed up later, but I couldn't stay much longer as (we were all wet by then) and it was nap time. But I did see three dear friends and talked a bit, which was great.

Then we went to pick up my grandma and drove to my parents house (20 mins). I was happy, we didn't have a long trip, as the snow was quite bad to drive through. Maybe you happened to hear some German news which reported about the unusual heavy snow and the traffic chaos all over Germany on Christmas Eve. I like getting that much snow. But this amount in such a short time was really unusual. On the other hand, if it hadn't hit that hard so suddenly, we wouldn't have had a white Christmas - everything was green and brown in the morning. Unfortunately my other grandma and grandpa couldn't come (bc of health issues and the weather conditions). We had a small lunch at my parents' and Lenara and I took a nap.

After that my brother also arrived and we dressed up to go to church. I have to admit we never go to church during the year (for different reasons, but this would be another post). But Christmas without mass is not Christmas to me. It was the first time for Lenara to join us, which made it special. I had taken her to a choir concert in a church just recently, which lasted over an hour and Lenara loved to listen and she sat still on my lap the entire time. I was wondering how it would work this time. She walked around the church in the beginning as we went early. She inspected everything: the nativity scene in the front, the huge christmas tree, people arriving. I took her on my lap when mass started. But after a while she got unquiet. An old woman (really old) sat next to me and I was worried that we would disturb her. But instead she encouraged me to put Lenara down and let her walk around. While my family on the other side gave me serious looks and told me to take her back on my lap. I didn't really know what to do to be honest. I didn't want to disturb anyone. At the same time I wanted it to be a good experience for Lenara, too, as this was also supposed to be a children's mass. The old woman reassured me I should let her walk around and explore, which really calmed me down. I don't know what it was about this woman, but I could have hugged her for assuring me I was doing the right thing. Lenara explored the church. She went down the aisle to the back of the church and found more children who she connected with. They played quietly (doing faces at each other or whatever). I couldn't really see her from my seat anymore at one point, which first made me nervous. I kept turning around (which probably was the most disturbing part about the whole scene). But then I told myself, there are families back there, so they will also have an eye on her (like I automatically have an eye on any child in my view), there's nothing really that could happen. She kept walking up and down the aisle and instead of seeing angry faces like I expected, I saw many many faces (old and young) smiling at my little girl and enjoying the spirit of this little blonde angel. Those delighted faces are one of my favorite memories.

Then we walked back home through the snow. The church is just down the street. Flo and Lenara read a book while waiting for the "Christkind" (christ child), while my parents lit up the tree and prepared the gift giving. Then Lenara and I waited for the bell while sitting on the stairs. Just like my brother and I back in the day. I sang a christmas song to her and for the first time she repeated the word "Christkind" - which was also a very special moment to me. She wasn't excited as me as she didn't know what to expect. But I could tell she felt my anticipation and she enjoyed it. Then the little bell rang.

I guess seeing a child catching sight of the christmas tree and all the gifts and the ceremonial atmosphere... can't be topped by many things. I was so happy I could have cried. One ornament on the tree (a heart) caught her attention and she tried to get it in her hands many times that night. I hadn't wrapped Maruun (the doll), so she was one of the first gifts she discovered. Seeing Lenara picking her up and holding her tight was another about-to-cry-moment. I liked that we didn't have a crazy amount of gifts. Lenara enjoyed unwrapping. She did it very carefully. I loved watching her little hands be so gentle. She loved all her gifts. But her favorite is a watercolor set. She took it everywhere and opened and closed it all the time, reorganizing the colors. This fact is special to me too, as this was a gift from an anonymous donor. We were invited to take part in a social programme (see pics and learn more about it here - GER) where the kids of low-income families could write down one wish, which was put on a Christmas tree in a store downtown and people willing to donor a gift could pick up the wishes. A couple of days before christmas I picked up this anonymous gift. The sight of this room full (!!!) of donored gifts for children almost made me cry as well - bc of all the love and generousity being present through the gifts and bc I realized we belong to the poor people around here right now, which makes me sad and usually I try to avoid thinking about it.

Another special and funny Christmas memory 2010: After dinner Lenara played another little while with her new gifts. Then I told her we should pick up the toys before going to bed. I asked her to put Maruun in bed (meaning, wrap her in a scarf like she found her). Lenara clearly seemed to understand. She turned around, whiped out the wooden (brand new!) nativity scene - Maria, Joseph, baby jesus, donkey, cow... woooosh! Not taking out one by one, but - WOOOOOSH! Then she placed Maruun in the little house and covered her with the scarf! I don't know how she came up with this idea. But she went forward with her action so straight and confident... it was hilarious. Later my Mom put all the figures in the lego building - our interim nativity scene. Why buy an expensive wooden one, if lego does the same job??! ;)

I think those will be the most special memories of this year's Christmas Eve.











P.S. There are more and better pics - but not on my camera. :(
P.P.S. I just got them...

Doll making Inspiration

Sending good vibes your way, Lenara's Mommy!

" ......a handcrafted doll is one of a kind, an individual which carries the spirit of the maker in its stitches and absorbs the spirit of the child who loves it".

Check out this little site I've been spying on. It's quite an endeavor and you are undertaking it! Go you!
The head looks tricky. I've seen some waldorf dolls that look scary and mean, unintentionally. That spacing of the eyes really matters.

http://simmy.typepad.com/echoesofadream/2006/10/basic_instructi.html

Can't wait to see Lenara's baby! I'm sure it'll be a happy one!

Advent calendar

I'm glad it's finished! Lots of work - until 1 am last night. But I still like my idea and the result. Tomorrow the first package will be opened. Let's see if Lenara likes it too! I'm so excited! She isn't yet, as she didn't seem to realize what all the fuzz was about, when the advent calendar appeared in our living room today. ;))

Perfect day

We had the most perfect day: Lots of snow, sunshine, love and time!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving is tomorrow.

Here in America, it's Thanksgiving time. It started with a dinner with some pilgrims and Indians and now it is a combination of a traditional feast with Turkey and stuffing and giving gratitude. That, and lots of over eating.
We are going to my cousins' house, who aren't really my cousins at all. They are my cousins ex-husband's cousins (follow that?). I knew them before my cousin was even married though. I went to their house about every month for years and I love them both. We would have endless nights talking like it was a slumber party, every time. I haven't seen them since we got married so I am super excited to spend time with them. I feel like they are family though. They have two kids (age 3 &5).
Today we are getting our car fixed so we are safe on the drive, so we walked to the library. It was a brisk walk, but I loved walking. It's something that we should do more often. Note to self: prepare for the imminent cold weather.
We set out our clothes for the trip and some are in the washer getting clean. We will pack in the morning and head out when it's Olivia's nap time. Just like all the other crazies who plan to travel the day before Thanksgiving. We will be gone for a few days. I am going to bring some felt cookies to sew that I started when we were in Kyrgyzstan.

Getting into Holiday Mood

Looking out the window of our new cardboard-house...

Looking out the big window... (it was her idea!)

Reading books together... (he's near-sighted!)

Going on a ride...


Lenara got him last year for Christmas and ever since "Nikolaus" (aka Laus) has been around and very popular these days. He has to join every activity. Little does she know that Christmas is around the corner for real... ;))

Halloween 2010 in Germany

Our little fairy!
Fly, little Fairy, FLY, right NOW!

We - as a family - don't really celebrate Halloween here. The traditions are sweaping over though from the US. Every year more and more Halloween decoration in the stores. And more Halloween Parties for adults. I have the problem, that we got a cute little fairy outfit for Lenara from our US family. But I don't really know when to put it on her. We celebrate Carneval in February where Kids (and adults, but they usually only use the parties to get wasted) dress up. So I thought about organizing our own little Halloween Party and invite the kids we know. But I was afraid to do it, bc those mothers are so stressed out and I think they would have hated me to make them find (not even talking about making) a costume for the kids.

So we just spent a wonderful family day and celebrated my grandmothers 87th birthday - with our little fairy, of course! She loves the glitter shoes (that her US Nana HAD to get her, although Mommy wasn't crazy about them, as they don't even fit her properly!) and the little magic wand! I'm curious, if she will grow up being a girly girl - having pink all over her room (not that she has a room - haha) and asking for a horse every Christmas. It's not like I really care (like you said, it's not so much about the Moms), but pleeeeease let us pass the horse and kitten phase.... ;)

Little Red Riding Hood

Olivia last Halloween



Olivia this Halloween







Traditions. Some people say they're just silly things done year after year. But we think that they are the classic things that never let moments get old. Instead, they get texture. Classic, refined texture. Those are the kind of moments that I want to provide for our family.

Traditions are important to me. They give me a feeling of history and provide a path to look at the joyful memories made in the past. But, in my family growing up, I cannot think of many traditions that "stuck" through the years. It is one part of being a parent that I want to do differently than my parents did. My mom did lots of things for us, but besides repeated holiday food, we didn't experience anything the same, year after year.

But, one thing that i really love is to look at and be around things that my grandmothers and mother have made. I enjoy cuddling with a quilt knowing that my grandmother quilted it. I love the doll that my grandmother made that looks like me. My mom made our Halloween costumes and all year, I dressed up in them. In a way, it brings me closer to them, these women in my family. I like to sew and create. Perhaps it's in my blood. Nature or nurture, I want to provide these humble offerings of love and labor to my daughter and future children, should we be blessed with more. Hopefully, she finds value in it, as I do. This year I made her Halloween costume. Because I really fell in love with fairytales, I wanted her to be something sweet so I chose Little Red Riding Hood. And, a doll to match.

We all know that at this point, some parts of our children's lives are about us. Their first birthday, for example. I chose the costume because I knew she would be adorable...and because a cape is easy to make. I don't have lots of skill on the sewing machine so I repurposed a woman's shirt. I cut the cuffs of, cut the inner part of the sleeve, attached the top layers and bottom layers (of the bodice) and used the excess material to form the pointy hood. It was made during two nap times.

The summary is that I want to have traditions that breathe life and joy into normal days and special days, too. With Olivia in her second round of holidays, it still feels like her first time really experiencing the festivities. She does not know who Little Red Riding Hood is, but hopefully she feels special and precious, as she is to us.

(I promised not to complain...but I cannot post pictures from the iPad). Grr.