Showing posts with label Special Moments. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Special Moments. Show all posts

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Single Mom Manifesto

Today I have this strong inner feeling to write this "manifesto". It's what I want single Moms and Dads to know - and what I need to keep in mind myself again and again.

 1. Living life as a single parent is not what nature has intended for families. In fact it takes even more than two people to raise a family. Some (I believe African) quote says: It takes a whole town to raise a kid. In today's culture many of us can't even refer to relatives and most of us don't have a town to help out. Raising a family all by yourself - even if you get help here and there - is a special situation. You are trying to do the job of two - the best way you possibly can.

 2. Don't make yourself a heroine - you do not have to prove mankind (or yourself) that single Moms do not have to limit themselves, that they can have everything a double parent family has, the same energy, same successful job, same hobbies, same tidy house, same financial privileges, same vacations, same amount of close friends, same amount of time for their kid(s). You don't. Even though you deserve it - out of question! But you don't. Rather embrace than fight this fact. You'll be losing even more energy, if you ignore it.

 3. Don't make yourself a victim - your possibilities are limited, your energy is limited, your time is limited, your personal freedoms are limited, you might feel more torn and the weight of responsibility in many situations than other parents, yes. But blaming your situation on others, focussing on your limits and the bad things, comparing your situation to others (like the parent who has left, other families or worst case double-income-no-kids-couples), feeling anger, looking back or quarrelling with lost dreams - will make you lose even more energy, will hold yourself back from growing strong and healing those old pains, will hinder you from finding out your priorities in life and living the life and happiness you and your family deserves! Rather embrace than fight this fact. You won't find happiness, if you ignore it.

 4. You neither need to be a heroine nor a victim. Being yourself the way you are right now is totally ok. Being in this situation you are faced with right now is totally ok. In fact, it's the best that could happen to you. The universe has a plan for everyone of us. This is what it has in mind for you. Keep in mind that the universe always has good intentions. Picture it as the perfect initial situation to start from. If you would not be strong enough to handle this situation, the universe would not have presented it to you. If you would not be able to grow, change or be happy in this situation, the universe would not have presented it to you either. Rather embrace than fight this fact. Be curious and look out for all your chances and watch the universe unfold.

 5. It's a myth that being a single Mom is only tied to disadvantages. In many situations I feel very privileged. I was able to decide many things for my child and our family all by myself: the doctor and when to go see it, medicine (I prefer homöopathy), food (I prefer local and organic), the daynanny (I preferred waldorf), kindergarten (=preschool, I prefered outdoor), friends we spend time with and who support us (I prefer those who give back engergy), toys which I think are more valuable than others, clothes (I prefer second hand & no cartoon characters), little vacations we went on, how to decorate our apartment, how to celebrate birthdays, install family traditions (waldorf table, Christmas etc.), how to spend our weekends - it's all 100% my decision and what I feel comfortable with. No discussions. No compromising. Second best thing: Since Lenara has turned about 1 year old, I was able to have daddy-weekends = two entire free days (plus 1 or 2 nights) every 3 weeks! I don't have one friend who has the same privilege. I feel truly blessed. And the best best best thing: I have a very close, telepathic connection with my child. I can not imagine this would have been the case, if we would not have been somewhat "forced" to be a perfect match.

 6. It's a myth that children in separated families always have to suffer. It is all about how respectful and grown up their parents interact and put the children's needs first - always. Maybe not all, but certainly a lot bad effects following separation can be cushioned by the attitude of the parents (and their respective families!). I know this can be hard at times, especially since the parents are most likely hurt and angry and depressed themselves. The best advice we ever got was to separate parent level and couple level. We decided to be hurt and angry on the couple level - from which we completely excluded our daughter. On the parent level we decided to be the best parents we could be under these special circumstances. We put our daughter first, our own needs second. She needs both of her parents. It's fascinating to witness how close she is with her daddy today (4 years later) and how comfortable she feels around him. Even though he has never lived with us. Her Dad and I never became friends again and I doubt we ever will. But we can look each other in the eyes and enjoy our daughter, who will always connect us. And yes, I'm proud we took that decision. Because that is what it took.

 7. Sometimes you need to put your own needs first. Stating "put the childs' needs first" only applies to the parent level of separated parents. In the daily mommy-daughter-life it is important to be aware of and acknowledge both of our needs. Mother's like to put the kids above all - even their own needs. I tend to do that too. But in reality we are two human beings - equal - each with needs. It's the art of combining and balancing both needs. The child is not yet able to take care of all of her needs herself. So parents are responsible to take care of many. Yet mothers (or parents in general) need to take extra-care of their own needs as well, especially since no partner will do it and comfort you. You do not only need to comfort your child, but yourself. If you ignore your needs, the whole system will get out of balance - not only you will suffer yourself, but eventually also the kids and everyone around. Sometimes it's important to put your own needs first, so that you can keep the energy and the balance of your fragile system. And sometimes everything will just get out of control. Which is ok too.

 8. Asking for help is a compliment. As a single parent family things will sometimes get easier with some help. Asking for help often makes us feel weak, depended and gives us a feeling of failure. That is because these days we often wait too long until we ask for help. Asking for help is something very natural. We don't live in rural little communities anymore where neighbors or relatives would have a chance to notice when we need some help, where everyday shores are split up among the community members to begin with and not every single family is responsible to keep their own household running. It took me great effort (and sometimes still does) to ask for help (like my neighbor to carry our groceries upstairs, bc I'm carrying my sleeping child upstairs). Often I'm still surprised that people are happy and feel acknowledged if you ask them for help. Being needed and being able to help is a good feeling. It's a true win-win-situation in most cases. Try it!

9. Life is a matter of priorities. It's your choice what is important in your life. Not all areas of your life can have the same priority. Your attention, energy, time etc. are all limited. It's an idiotic goal to have a quality family life, a good job, a perfect household, perfect health, quality time with many friends... Your attention can only go to few things at a time. Sometimes I feel bad, bc my cooking skills are poor and our apartments looks exploded every other day (it happens so quickly!). Even though I do not mind cleaning or learning how to cook. Even though I'm trying hard to keep everything together. I am disciplined and hard-working. Yet, our day only has 24 hours. Once I accept that it's ok to have a messy kitchen in favor of having spent time with my daughter, my family or friends or a job I love (www.hypnobirthing-erleben.de !) - I feel better. If I had a super clean kitchen, I would have had to cut time on some other things. I am not sure, that would be worth it. My goal is to focus on the things I love (bc it keeps the love, energy and awareness in our lives high) and keep the rest running on a minimum level.

10. Life is getting better and better. When I was 5 months pregnant and my husband left me, I was sitting in the emergency room with a decent nervous breakdown. I could not stop crying for days. Even though I was talking or even laughing, the tears would not stop running down my face. The lady doctor who I talked to that day, asked my (ex-)husband to leave the room and told me: "Sadly I have gone through something similar. Maybe it is hard for you to believe right now, BUT you will be happy again. For sure." I could not quite believe her words that day bc my whole vision of the future had been taken away from me. But she was right: I'm happy. In fact, more than ever before. The more things you have experienced that you do not like, the better you have learnt how to deal with them, how to protect yourself and your family from them, the more you know who and what is good for yourself and your family, the more you learn about priorities in your life and focus on the things that really matter: love, energy, nature and universal awareness that is for me.

And while I felt the urge to remind me of these facts today (we are both sick and home, which I feel is the heaviest burden of being a single parent family), our apartment looks like this...not only today, but for days by now :)))

Love & Energy to all my fellow single Moms and Dads!




Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Special Moment: Daddy said...

(...when leaving after Daddy weekend)
Daddy: "Good bye, baby, I love you."
L goes: "Yeah, that's what Mommy keeps saying."

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Leather Pants

In Kindergarten I asked around for some used Leather Pants. The kids wear those outdoors. They are water resistant and comfortable. My parents gave us a gift certificate to order one, but first I wanted to see, if Lenara is going to wear them at all. So yesterday we found some pants rolled up in Lenara's backpack. I have no clue yet, who gave them to us. But isn't it so nice, that someone thought of us?! And such a cute girly design! I love it. So far we both love Kindergarten. It's such a nice atmosphere among the kids and parents. We're just grateful!

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Kindergarten Mädchen


I have a Kindergarten girl now. On Monday we went for the first time. I stayed the entire time. We had a rough bitchy morning before we went. I was quite nervous to "through" her in the new Kindergarten situation right after. She was all shy and attached to me, most of the time. But she seemed interested in everything. Wouldn't try things on her own though. I was a bit surprised and started worrying, if the transition would go as smooth as I had hoped.

The teacher asked me to bring her the next morning and leave right away. I should pick her up after lunch break. I remained friendly and calm - on the outside. I was quite a bit shocked on the inside. I thought we would take it more slowly and I would have a chance to make sure, L feels comfortable - and also I get to trust the teachers a bit more, before leaving her on her own.

In the evening I wasn't feeling well. I felt so unsure what to do. Trust the teacher about the method of "throwing her right out there on her own"? I see the advantages. As long as Mommy is there, there might not be a need to trust someone else or join the group. On the other hand, I was positive, L wouldn't let the teachers know when she needed to pee, felt uncomfortable or needed help with zipping her coat... She had barely talked a word on her first day! I was sooo confused. I really wanted to choose the responsible easiest way for her, but I didn't know what it was. Like many mothers, who have to let go their 3-year-olds... I cried big tears that night. I had planned to be that one cool responsible mother that knows exactly what to do and feel good about it. But I wasn't.

Since Lenara had clearly understood that she would go there on her own the next day - and didn't seem to be very nervous about it, I decided to go with the teacher's suggestion. God, I was thankful she didn't cry. I was almost about to cry while waving and heading back to the car. When I picked her up 2.5 hrs later, she seemed so proud. She walked by the teacher's hand and fit right in the group. She didn't even want to leave the ground and headed back toward the other children. Even though she also told me that she had cried a little in the beginning, but now she would like it. Wow.

You can tell, I was relieved. Today she didn't go, because we had a little accident last night (different story, L hurt herself in the back of her throat with a sharp platic thing - we went to see an emergency doctor, pharmacy and had a really horrible night, but now she seems fine again) - so today I wanted her to regain some energy. When I told her, she would't go to Kindergarten today, she said: But I do want to go, Mommy, why can't I?!

Very good. I'm looking forward to tomorrow... we'll stick to 2.5 hrs this week and extend the time next week. I'm sure American Moms will be laughing at me. It seems like all US Moms just through their kids in some daycare shortly after they have given birth and not worry as much (ok, ok, I know I'm being very general here, sorry). But I think it's true, that for many it's not such a big deal. Anyway...

Friday, February 24, 2012

Sucker Fairy was here!!!

Boy, am I excited!!!! This is one of the most special posts I ever blogged. Or maybe just one of the most special moments I had with my girl.

Some time ago - I think it was before Christmas (how come I don't exactly recall the date?!) - Lenara was ready to send 3 of her 4 suckers ("Shnoolie" = Schnulli in German) to the sucker fairy. She had the idea to put them in a gift box, with a bow and a cookie and then set in outside of the door (it was Daddy's weekend at the time). I had called the sucker fairy on her cell phone the previous morning to let her know Lenara was hoping for a yellow wrapped gift. I had told her she could wish for something. I thought it was funny, that all that mattered to her was the yellow wrapping! Anyway, she was all excited that the sucker fairy brought her a gift - which meant, the sucker fairy exists and this is not a trick or something. So I told her, whenever she was ready to give up her last sucker, she should let me know and I would call the fairy again.

But she wasn't ready. By the time most of her friends had given up their Schnullis. I tried to be patient, yet the moments when I was fed up with searching for this holy one and only sucker at least once a day. I told her that I thought she could do it without. Trying not to put any pressure on her, but rather encouraging her and believing in her.

During our vacation in January we couldn't find her Schnulli one day. We seriously thought she had lost it somewhere outside. I thought to myself, ok, if that's the way it goes... we'll take this chance. But she was crying and crying. "I can't go to sleep without my Schnulli, I need my Schnulli"... it was heartbreaking. Grandma Astrid luckily kept on searching and finally found the Schnulli under the waste bag. (whatever)

Her friend's Schnulli went on vacation to Africa recently. It even sent back postcards to let little Sam know that it was doing well, but didn't know if it would come back, because he loved the adventures. He'd rather continue sending postcards. And after a couple rough nights - he accepted the Schnulli being on vacation and doesn't miss it anymore. Lenara was pretty impressed, when I told her, Sam can now sleep without it. Next time we saw him, she told him "I'm sleeping without my Schnulli as well." She sounded really convincing, but I thought... hey, it's such a lie!

During the past weeks, she brought it up a couple of times. But always added "once I'm older, I can also sleep without my Schnulli. But I'm still quite little". Sigh. Trying to continue being patient.

SOOOOOOOOO, today, out of the BLUE, she suddenly said this morning "Mommy, I will wrap my Schnulli today, please call the sucker fairy. I want a blue gift this time." What??? I wasn't sure, if she was being serious. I asked her a couple of times to be sure, before I called the fairy. But she insisted and seemed very confident in her decision. So after taking a bath tonight, she wanted to suck it a last time and then she wrapped it. I could tell, she was rethinking it all. She said, we can only bring the box outside after having read the goodnight story. Two stories. She needed just a little bit more time. I was nervous, she would want it back. And I was nervous about how to react then. We had come so far this time!

But, she surprised me. She put it outside our door and went straight to bed. We talked for a little bit in the dark. I kept reassuring her that she can do it, and I'd be there to help her. I was nervous, it would take forever for her to fall asleep and I was ready for having some rough nights ahead. I had sprayed some "sleep well scent" on her pillow (just in case... hehe) and I talked to her some sentences to start relaxing (like for hypnosis), something like "your eyes get real heavy and tired, now your arms want to go to sleep etc." - I think it rather worked for me to stay calm. And she fell asleep WITHIN MINUTES!!!! My girl who would never go to sleep without her Schnulli and even than often took half an hour or longer to fall asleep.

I'm impressed. Simply impressed. What a girl! What a good good way of ending this era! I would have never thought this would work. But I'm soooo extremely glad I chose this way and tried to be patient with this f*** sucker all this time. It was definitely worth it! I'm so thankful. Sooo thankful. And also a bit relieved to be honest.

I'm still a little nervous, what happens, if she wakes up tonight. Or about tomorrow night when there won't be a gift the next morning... but hey, I'm optimistic. I'm using the secret once again.

The proudest mother ever!

Story of the Root Children (Etwas von den Wurzelkindern)

This book by Sibylle von Olfers (amazon.com, amazon.de) is a classic.

While I was doing a bit of research on the season's table, I realized that especially the spring sceneries often are based on this story - the root children being awakened by Mother Earth and then they turn into flower children in spring with new colorful dresses and each of them representing one kind of flower. Until after summer and fall they return to Mother Earth and sleep through the winter.

Today was a really mild almost spring type of day. I took down all our winter decoration and cleaned my living room window (I don't clean any other windows as this is the only window we actually look through, the others are not worth it... hehe). And then Lenara and I got all excited about creating our own little root children. I made one today. And once again it felt soooo good creating something with my hands. While I was making it, Lenara took out her finger colors and colored her entire table - no, she didn't want a sheet of paper to paint on. I knew it was going to be a mess eventually, but I could tell she was enjoying it a lot - as much as I was enjoying my work. So I let her do what she had to do. And after all, I did what I had to do... clean. ;)

Since Lenara enjoyed the Christmas play on our winter table so much, our spring one will be the root children. We'll collect natural things like little flowers, stones, etc. outside during our walks and I will continue making more children, mother earth and the spring and summer dresses. We already collected little oval stones to paint them and use them as ladybugs and all type of bugs that appear in the book. I can't wait! A project in progress. And one we definitely both enjoy as much.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Fun, Fun, Fun




What a special moment. My big girl is trying to ski for the first time. It feels like my parents taught me how to ski just yesterday. And I was 3. Of course, she's not really skiing on her own yet, but she loves it and we rented real skiing boots, real skis and a helmet the next day. She loves it. Kept putting the boots and skis on in the living room all evening. Wow. My big girl. I'm one proud Mommy.

Sunday, December 25, 2011

What...?!

Listen to this: Lenara (my TWO-year-old) and I were sitting at the dinner table just recently.

Lenara: Mommy....
Mommy: What is it, honey?
Lenara: Mommy, I think, you have a weight problem.
Mommy: What????!???

So 4 people within 3 weeks either asked, if I'm pregnant or I'd be having weight problems. Something's going real wrong here... (and honestly, I think that's why Lenara mentioned it, bc she had heard me angrily quote the earlier stories.). My...

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Thomas Gordon: PET (Familienkonferenz)

I have a book recommendation for you. My friend had a copy of this book with her when we recenly spent a long weekend at Center Parcs Moselle (Alsace, France) - review yet to follow. I read a few pages and couldn't stop myself from reading on and on. Back home I immediately ordered my own (used and very cheap) copy. It's a classic. My Mom said, she had read it, when I was little. But she also said: It didn't work for us kids. How come I already know...

From Amazon.com:
P.E.T., or Parent Effectiveness Training, began almost forty years ago as the first national parent-training program to teach parents how to communicate more effectively with kids and offer step-by-step advice to resolving family conflicts so everybody wins. This beloved classic is the most studied, highly praised, and proven parenting program in the world -- and it will work for you. Now revised for the first time since its initial publication, this groundbreaking guide will show you:
How to avoid being a permissive parent
How to listen so kids will talk to you and talk so kids will listen to you
How to teach your children to "own" their problems and to solve them
How to use the "No-Lose" method to resolve conflicts

Using the timeless methods of P.E.T. will have immediate results: less fighting, fewer tantrums and lies, no need for punishment. Whether you have a toddler striking out for independence or a teenager who has already started rebelling, you'll find P.E.T. a compassionate, effective way to instill responsibility and create a nurturing family environment in which your child will thrive.

It is really inspiring to me. I keep reading it and try out what works for us. A lot of learning and improving to be done by parents. But to me it's a goal. A philosophy that I want for my own family life. Even if it doesn't work right away nor always and for every situation (I don't know yet). But I'm determined to find out...




Monday, August 29, 2011

Diaper free

For almost 2 weeks we've only been using diapers at night. It works so well. I think we've made it! ;))

Grateful

Today we sat down for lunch. We just had leftovers. Nothing special. Lenara didn't eat tons as usual, but looked at me and said: Thank you for cooking, Mommy.

You don't know how shocked I was! After all my efforts of getting meals together that she would like and eat in the past 2 years... WOW!

And probably since she liked my positive reaction, tonight she said: Thanks for making dinner, Mommy.

Have I mentioned yet, how much I love her?

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Not the typical "No" stage...

Olivia has really found her voice in the last month or so.
She has gone from grunting to saying Mommy and then now, is using her words and using them a lot.
With this phase beginning, I knew that my little opinionated girl would soon discover the word no.
But, it isn't being used how I expected. She's not being defiant, as of yet.

Instead, she sings the word "no, no, nooooo, nooo, nooo"...and carries on quite sweetly.
And, a couple times I have asked if her if she wants this food or that and she says no, but it's a sweet "no".

Today, I was reading a book to her (Olivia LOOOOOVes to read) and it was titled "Is your Mama a Llama?"
Every page, she kept saying, "no...Mama, Olivia" and pointing to me and then herself.

It was pretty funny. But, I don't think I am doing a good job of explaining the cuteness of it.
But, maybe you just had to be there to get it.

Maybe.

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Purzelbaum - Somersault



I have no idea, who taught her this. I don't think I've even mentioned the word before. Must have been Daddy, cousins or kids at the nanny's. I was so suprised when I looked over to her and she was doing a really good one. The ones I videotaped weren't as perfect - but still funny. ;)

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Don't, Mommy!

I get to hear a lot of DONT's from my 2-year-old lately.
--
Don't chew on that pencil, Mommy.

Don't get up from the table before I'm finished, Mommy.

Don't walk in the living room with your shoes on, Mommy.
--
At times it's getting quite annoying. But it does show that she actually understood the rules that we have. So yeah! And I have to admit, she is right sometimes. It's funny how it makes you realize how important Mommies are as rolemodels.

Yet today, I got to hear a new one. Soooo funny. We were sitting at the lunch table. Eating, talking. Like usually. Nothing special. I must have been drifting away in my thoughts and suddenly she got very angry:

Don't look at my pacifier, Mommy!!!

Ewwww, what???? My face must have been turned toward the pacifier lying on the table, while I was dreaming. And it made her really really angry. I thought it was too funny. So later on I kept teasing her: Lala, I'm looking at your pacifier!!! Look! Look! I'm looking... And it became a really good joke. We cracked down laughing. I think it's one of our first running gags.

Monday, July 4, 2011

First time Potty!!!



Lenara peed in the potty for the very first time today!!!! Wohooooo!

(And yes, I took a picture of it! LOL)

Friday, May 27, 2011

Some sort of Tongue

My friend and I put our kids in a bathtub together last night. While watching them play I tried to remember, if Lenara had ever seen a boy naked in her life before (occasions are rare, let me tell you!). I dropped the thought. Only one minute later Lenara goes: "Mommy, Mommy, look, look, a tongue sticking out! Look! Look, Mommy!" Pointing to little A.'s penis.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Funniest thing

I tried to remember one spring song, I really liked from my childhood. So even though we were ready to go to bed already, I got up again and took out our new song book from our new playgroup. It took me a while to find it, but I knew I had seen it in there before. Then I started singing - all excited to show her my new song.

Phewww....

You should have seen my face drop when she started singing along and doing gestures. MATCHING GESTURES! And clapping at the same moment I started clapping.

She told me Daddy sings that song. I can't imagine he does. I assume the day nanny sings it to the kids. Wow! My big girl has her own life. She's learning and picking up from other people that love her and she's showing me so proud what she has learnt.

Such a special moment.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

I will be a grandma!!!

Big News!!!! Lenara is pregnant! She has told me twice within the past week that she has a baby in her belly. Me: Are you sure? She: Yes, yes, real baby! Alllllright. I didn't know kids grow up THIS fast these days.

(I'm pretty sure, my 8-months-pregnant friend whom we met last week left some major impression on her).

Monday, April 18, 2011

Happy Birthday!

Out of nowhere Lenara started singing Happy Birthday (in English!) today after her nap. It took me a while to realize what it was she was singing. But once I got the point, it sounded so clear and cute!

See, I knew she realized it was her birthday. People kept asking me about whether she realized it was her birthday at all. Are you kidding?!!!