Kindergarten Mädchen

I have a Kindergarten girl now. On Monday we went for the first time. I stayed the entire time. We had a rough bitchy morning before we went. I was quite nervous to "through" her in the new Kindergarten situation right after. She was all shy and attached to me, most of the time. But she seemed interested in everything. Wouldn't try things on her own though. I was a bit surprised and started worrying, if the transition would go as smooth as I had hoped.

The teacher asked me to bring her the next morning and leave right away. I should pick her up after lunch break. I remained friendly and calm - on the outside. I was quite a bit shocked on the inside. I thought we would take it more slowly and I would have a chance to make sure, L feels comfortable - and also I get to trust the teachers a bit more, before leaving her on her own.

In the evening I wasn't feeling well. I felt so unsure what to do. Trust the teacher about the method of "throwing her right out there on her own"? I see the advantages. As long as Mommy is there, there might not be a need to trust someone else or join the group. On the other hand, I was positive, L wouldn't let the teachers know when she needed to pee, felt uncomfortable or needed help with zipping her coat... She had barely talked a word on her first day! I was sooo confused. I really wanted to choose the responsible easiest way for her, but I didn't know what it was. Like many mothers, who have to let go their 3-year-olds... I cried big tears that night. I had planned to be that one cool responsible mother that knows exactly what to do and feel good about it. But I wasn't.

Since Lenara had clearly understood that she would go there on her own the next day - and didn't seem to be very nervous about it, I decided to go with the teacher's suggestion. God, I was thankful she didn't cry. I was almost about to cry while waving and heading back to the car. When I picked her up 2.5 hrs later, she seemed so proud. She walked by the teacher's hand and fit right in the group. She didn't even want to leave the ground and headed back toward the other children. Even though she also told me that she had cried a little in the beginning, but now she would like it. Wow.

You can tell, I was relieved. Today she didn't go, because we had a little accident last night (different story, L hurt herself in the back of her throat with a sharp platic thing - we went to see an emergency doctor, pharmacy and had a really horrible night, but now she seems fine again) - so today I wanted her to regain some energy. When I told her, she would't go to Kindergarten today, she said: But I do want to go, Mommy, why can't I?!

Very good. I'm looking forward to tomorrow... we'll stick to 2.5 hrs this week and extend the time next week. I'm sure American Moms will be laughing at me. It seems like all US Moms just through their kids in some daycare shortly after they have given birth and not worry as much (ok, ok, I know I'm being very general here, sorry). But I think it's true, that for many it's not such a big deal. Anyway...