Quiet time vs. nap time

A couple of weeks ago I installed "quiet time" instead of "nap time". Lenara seemed to take forever again for falling asleep in the evenings. So I figured, maybe she needs less sleep and we should stop napping. On some days it works for her without napping. On some days she just falls asleep on the couch next to me. Which is ok as well.

So what does our quiet time look like? After lunch and cleaning up the kitchen, we relax on the couch. I turn up relaxing music (usually meditation, taichi etc.) and I read, surf online, do some knitting or make fairies. Basically something quiet that means quality time for me. And since I haven't found time for those kind of things lately (bc usually I work at night or spend time with my man), it feels sooo good to be doing those things. Lenara loves watching me. Sometimes she starts looking at a book or playing with her dolls. Sometimes - like right now - she followed what I was doing online and suddenly fell asleep all curled up like a puppy. I'll let her sleep for like half an hour, not much longer. Because my goal is for her to be really tired in the evenings - meaning dinner by 6:30pm, bed time at 7pm, sleeping by 7:30pm.

If she naps for an hour she's usually in bed by 8pm and asleep by 8:30-9ish. Which is way too late, if I need to get things done. Plus, the later it gets, the more tired I am myself.

I also have a new rule, in case she doesn't fall asleep in the evenings and I need to get work done. Instead of lying next to her for hours and getting upset, I take her with me on the couch and let her fall asleep there. I dim the lights or only have candles on, turn on the above mentioned meditation music and work. My computer is right next to the couch. So she can see me and feel comfortable without any pressure to fall asleep. When I first did this, I felt really bad. What kind of mother am I to make my baby sleep on the couch?! But I realized, she is relaxed and has a chance to fall asleep in her own way & I am relaxed and don't feel torn between two important "things". I watched her sleep on the couch and it's just like in bed - very peaceful. No reason to feel guilty. What a good solution!