I've always loved your pics at the Library. So today, we went to our local public library for the first time (I used to go to another one in the next bigger city) - it's so sweet, I mean small but tempting. 10 Euros for unlimited books throughout the year! I'm very happy! I took home so many books today, I almost had to make Lenara walk and take over her stroller. ;)
They have a perfect diaper changing place, clean toilets, heated rooms, lots of books, CDs, magazines.... I didn't spot a coffee machine, but except for that it seems like a perfect place to hang out in the afternoons. Those are some of our riches:
2 cooking for children books like "quick things for mother and child", just what I need!
2 knitting for kids books (including really cool shoes, hats and a teddy bear I will copy)
1 how to use different wet packs for healing (comes in handy, as I just do potato packs on Lenara for her sore throat and chest, but I wasn't quite sure, if it was the right pack to use)
1 decorating kids' playareas (I already love the idea of painting a whole wall with special chalk board color - so the entire wall is a chalk board! I just wish I had a bigger place... we don't really have free walls to turn into chalk boards).
1 novel "mother mafia" - sounds amusing
Oh, and I almost forgot, some children books as well. ;)
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Cleaning our muddy shoes
I never clean my shoes. Meaning N-E-V-E-R. Less than I clean my windows or my oven or my car to give you an idea. As we have been wandering around in mud a lot lately, we couldn't help but clean our shoes. Lenara keeps putting her shoes on and off at home - which always spreads a lot of dirt and makes me angry every time she does it (like 10 times a day). So I told her (and myself!) that we'd have to clean them now. Surprisingly it turned out to be great fun! Each of us did her own shoes. She watched me doing it very closely and seriously she cleaned her own shoes perfectly. My not-even-2-year-old! I'm so proud. Of her. And myself. For cleaning our shoes. And the sparkling thought that I might never have to clean her shoes...
Involving the little ones in all task is the way to go - I'm more than convinced - once again!
Of Birds, Woods and Magical Spots
These will be given to our Mini-Club host on Friday. The semester is over. Some of us (including us) won't go back, so we'd like to say "Thank you" (on the little note the bird is holding):
Just realized how nice they would look on Lenara's shelf. Darn:
These went to our friends in Munich last weekend. The birds are matching the kitchen colors perfectly! But it will be placed in a different room. I'm so happy they loved it:
I'm so crazy about collecting branches at the moment. There are so many beautiful surfaces and shapes. Right now is the time for tree cutting, so I find piles of cut branches everywhere. My Mom kept making fun of me last week, as on our walk I spotted all the branch piles from far away. LOL.
[added later]
Mommy in wood heaven! Although we didn't bring home too many. Just a nice selection.
This one will be filled with birdies soon. It just took me 45 minutes to get it tight on the wall. Uff! Hoooorray for me being such a determined Single:
[/added later]
Today we took the bike into the closest woods, which I have never done so far (don't ask me why). We found a beautiful spot: some fallen trees, which made perfect benches to sit on, a shallow water stream running through that spot, a huge tree and several smaller bushes to play hide and seek. I can just picture that spot in spring and summer. I'm sure we'll go back there many times. You should have seen Lenara's eyes, when we walked from our bike off the little path into the woods - they were shining to say the least! I seriously have to consider the "Waldkindergarten" now. I know she would love it. They take kids aged 3+ and they spend all the time in the woods. For heavy weather conditions they have a little shelter, but the rest takes place outside - peeing, pooping and digging it, playing, building shelters, learning about animals and plants... We returned with cold feet (Lenara had walked straight into the stream, water up to her knees and I wasn't fast enough, or rather I watched her but couldn't believe what she was doing until I finally got myself moving) and our bike trailer full of interesting looking branches...
When I told Lenara to go to bed tonight, she ran through the dark hallway... and soon after I heard some loud noises. The poor thing had tripped over Mommie's stupid branches. She already seems pretty annoyed with my latest passion.
Just realized how nice they would look on Lenara's shelf. Darn:
These went to our friends in Munich last weekend. The birds are matching the kitchen colors perfectly! But it will be placed in a different room. I'm so happy they loved it:
I'm so crazy about collecting branches at the moment. There are so many beautiful surfaces and shapes. Right now is the time for tree cutting, so I find piles of cut branches everywhere. My Mom kept making fun of me last week, as on our walk I spotted all the branch piles from far away. LOL.
[added later]
Mommy in wood heaven! Although we didn't bring home too many. Just a nice selection.
This one will be filled with birdies soon. It just took me 45 minutes to get it tight on the wall. Uff! Hoooorray for me being such a determined Single:
[/added later]
Today we took the bike into the closest woods, which I have never done so far (don't ask me why). We found a beautiful spot: some fallen trees, which made perfect benches to sit on, a shallow water stream running through that spot, a huge tree and several smaller bushes to play hide and seek. I can just picture that spot in spring and summer. I'm sure we'll go back there many times. You should have seen Lenara's eyes, when we walked from our bike off the little path into the woods - they were shining to say the least! I seriously have to consider the "Waldkindergarten" now. I know she would love it. They take kids aged 3+ and they spend all the time in the woods. For heavy weather conditions they have a little shelter, but the rest takes place outside - peeing, pooping and digging it, playing, building shelters, learning about animals and plants... We returned with cold feet (Lenara had walked straight into the stream, water up to her knees and I wasn't fast enough, or rather I watched her but couldn't believe what she was doing until I finally got myself moving) and our bike trailer full of interesting looking branches...
When I told Lenara to go to bed tonight, she ran through the dark hallway... and soon after I heard some loud noises. The poor thing had tripped over Mommie's stupid branches. She already seems pretty annoyed with my latest passion.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
The crazier I feel, the more I sew
Today, I felt very, very crazy.
Maybe it was because I had a weird dream about an ex this week, or maybe it was Olivia wanting to be held incessantly while all I want to do is ween.
Putting all this weirdness in my head to some sort of measured productivity, I made some stuff.
I made this last, and it took only about 5 minutes. Maybe 7. But, you get the idea. It started with a second hand wool sweater
These next two photos were my inspiration: I don't know the sources though...
< />
This is a skirt, upside-down.
I started these on the plane about 8 months ago. Felt cookies, with 0-6 chocolate chips on each. Why did it take me that long? They were still packed in my in-flight bag. Ya. We are still unpacking.
An art case for crayons & paper. Olivia is inseparable from her art materials these days. I really liked the plain and natural fabrics used. As David commented, it would get marked all over, but I'm totally okay with that for this.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Maybe it was because I had a weird dream about an ex this week, or maybe it was Olivia wanting to be held incessantly while all I want to do is ween.
Putting all this weirdness in my head to some sort of measured productivity, I made some stuff.
I made this last, and it took only about 5 minutes. Maybe 7. But, you get the idea. It started with a second hand wool sweater
These next two photos were my inspiration: I don't know the sources though...
< />
This is a skirt, upside-down.
I started these on the plane about 8 months ago. Felt cookies, with 0-6 chocolate chips on each. Why did it take me that long? They were still packed in my in-flight bag. Ya. We are still unpacking.
An art case for crayons & paper. Olivia is inseparable from her art materials these days. I really liked the plain and natural fabrics used. As David commented, it would get marked all over, but I'm totally okay with that for this.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Location:Md
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Birdie
Ok. It's one at night. I hate myself for finishing the birdie. I recalled having read that someone posted she needed 10 minutes for sewing a bird. The whole point why I had started it tonight. For the past hour I kept telling myself: this will be finished quickly. Well, not really. Maybe next time I'll use the sewing machine and not hand-stitch. We collected lots of nice branches today. Equals: I got to make lots more now...
Being tolerant
I just had one of the most intense motherhood moments this afternoon. I'm afraid, not in a good way. And not related to Lenara (that's the good part about it). Being a mother in fact not only means having a child, trying to be the best mother you can be and trying to handle all the new challenges this brings to your own life (marriage, grandparents, work, money, free time... and and and). That's one part - for sure. But there's another part, which sometimes leads me into a deep inner-conflict. Namely:
Interacting with other Moms.
Last summer when I was talking to one of my friends, who is not a mother, I said something that provoked a lot of irritation and incomprehension on the opposing side of the table. Without thinking much about it, I stated something like: "It's hard to be friends with people who have a completely different understanding or philosophy of the way they raise their children. So in the end you tend to be friends with parents who share a common philosophy. Which might also cause an alienation to former friends." After her shocked reaction I got very confused and worried about myself. Ever since, once in a while this conversation crosses my mind and I ask myself: Am I too intolerant and judging people in a way I shouldn't?
Today I went for a walk with Lenara. We really had a good time - walking, jumping, singing, collecting wood for the bird mobile. Then we bumped into another mother with her daughter, who is about 9 months older than Lenara. We had introduced ourselves last summer as coincidentally we had bumped into each other a couple of times in a row. We hadn't seen them for months, so we were excited to see them again. We chatted for a while and the girls warmed up to one another - playing catch around us after a while. Very amusing to watch. And I - feeling socially isolated sometimes - was excited to bump into someone and realize - there actually are people nearby who are interested in us.
To make this story a bit shorter: the longer we talked the more I kept realizing that I don't agree with everything she said and that slowly the feeling of being annoyed started predominating the original feeling of being excited. But the longer we talked, the more the girls enjoyed each other. Which ended in the other Mom inviting us over to their house - which we were basically standing in front of. The feeling of being thrilled about someone spontaneously inviting us over predominated the feeling of being annoyed for a second. In we went.
Lenara was all excited about the other girls' many many toys. The huge problem was, that as soon as we were inside, the other girl turned from friendly to possesive and refused to share her toys. She took away every toy Lenara touched. She wanted to sit on the chair Lenara was sitting on and so on. I know it's a phase the little ones go through figuring out "mine & your's" - alright. This was the first time, Lenara (and I) were faced with such a strong reaction (including screaming, crying, pushing, throwing things).
First I felt sorry for Lenara, who got more insecure with every minute. Usually she gets scared when other children cry (Lenara herself never really cries unless she's in pain). This time she just seemed very puzzled and thinking about what she had done wrong. I tried to back her up by telling her that she had done nothing wrong and next time we would have to ask her friend, if we could use this or that toy and find an agreement. But the other girl was taken away by her emotions. And it's not like I can't understand. If my Mom would bring home a friend I hardly know with her daughter, who both mothers are complimenting overwhelmingly and she'd be taking my car or using my computer without my permission, I'd be furious too. Even more when my Mom was telling me, I would be the one who's wrong.
Anyway, I tried to think of a way to calm the situation down. From experience talking, being precise and pointing out options has always helped so far. I know I could have explained Lenara easily that she should take another toy, because her friend was having difficulties with sharing right now. Or I suggested that they take turns. Or play together. Or she should show Lenara how to use this or that. Or that the other girl should pick one toy that Lenara could play with, so she could keep control for now and slowly adjust to a common playing environment. As much as I agree the older girl has to learn sharing, I think it's important that Lenara starts learning that she can't just take things, but she has to ask and realize not everyone is willing to share all the time. Dealing with disappointment and frustration is part of life and she'll have to get used to handling it. The best I can do is to chaperon this process instead of avoiding it or solving it for her. Either we would have found a good solution for everyone, or if nothing would have helped, we would have left in order not to over-extend the kids' capacity of taking such an emotional emergency and we could have come back another time. Probably the other girl would have been disappointed then (as I know she likes to have friends over), and maybe have learnt the lesson: not sharing = not playing together. Just to give you an idea about the way I judged the situation.
But the other mother kept yelling at her girl. At a volume that left a ring in my ear. Ignoring all my ways of trying to negotiate with the girl, giving her attention and serving as a mediator leaving the problem on the girls' level. Instead the mother told her daughter she would be evil, she wouldn't want her as a daughter like that, she wouldn't recognize her, she would be the older one and expected to share with the baby (don't you call my girl baby!) and her (the Mom) would be crying, if she didn't give Lenara the toy (what? It might have helped to stick to the truth - Lenara was sad, she was the one close to crying). Then again she switched to hugging and kissing her, asking her to be a good girl. Right before sending her off to her room for such misbehaviour and crying. How confusing, painful and emberassing that must be!
I just realize how hard this is to explain while I'm writing it down. Does it make any sense?
The other Mom I guess was emberassed of her daughter's behaviour, trying to teach a lesson and trying to protect Lenara. She only involved herself and her daughter in the conflict, without giving us a chance to interact and solve the problem among the 4 of us - whereas it actually should have remained a problem between the two girls. But as she was ignoring Lenara's reaction and everything I suggested, she simply avoided a real solution in my eyes. This was leading nowhere.
Plus, I felt treated disrespectfully myself by being ignored - as an individual and as my role as Lenara's mother. In my eyes we as parents should teach the children how to handle those situations in a good way. How to handle those intense emotions - that are just part of growing up. All she did was accusing her daughter in front of us in a way that I thought was inappropriate - using words that I thought are inappropriate.
I know I'm very sensitive (maybe over-sensitive) about this issue after having heard so much about the results of such behaviour at the psychotherapy hospital and having read psychological books (which include some of the phrases she used in the exact same words).
So I found myself in a really bad situation: in a room full of bad energy, trying to protect Lenara, trying to protect the other girl, trying to find a solution, trying not to accuse the other mother, wishing Lenara wouldn't have to witness all of that, feeling insecure myself about this kind of situation, trying to be polite to the host, trying not to judge.
Trying to be tolerant.
When we got home, my hands were shaking. That's how intense this experience was. I know it's not my right to judge or interfere in the way someone raises their child (why not acutally? Bc in our culture raping someone physically is condemned, but raping someone with words is not?). I know there are reasons for this mother to act this way. I know she has a different cultural background and has had some hard parts in her life (who hasn't though?!). Also I do not know the history of their mother-daughter-conflict. I know she loves her child and only wants the best for her. I know my solutions are not always the best either. I haven't had this problem with my own daugther yet, who knows how I would or will react then. I know I'm not a perfect mother either. I know I can't prevent Lenara from witnessing such scenes. I know.
Yet, it's my choice not to spend an afternoon with them again.
q.e.d.
Interacting with other Moms.
Last summer when I was talking to one of my friends, who is not a mother, I said something that provoked a lot of irritation and incomprehension on the opposing side of the table. Without thinking much about it, I stated something like: "It's hard to be friends with people who have a completely different understanding or philosophy of the way they raise their children. So in the end you tend to be friends with parents who share a common philosophy. Which might also cause an alienation to former friends." After her shocked reaction I got very confused and worried about myself. Ever since, once in a while this conversation crosses my mind and I ask myself: Am I too intolerant and judging people in a way I shouldn't?
Today I went for a walk with Lenara. We really had a good time - walking, jumping, singing, collecting wood for the bird mobile. Then we bumped into another mother with her daughter, who is about 9 months older than Lenara. We had introduced ourselves last summer as coincidentally we had bumped into each other a couple of times in a row. We hadn't seen them for months, so we were excited to see them again. We chatted for a while and the girls warmed up to one another - playing catch around us after a while. Very amusing to watch. And I - feeling socially isolated sometimes - was excited to bump into someone and realize - there actually are people nearby who are interested in us.
To make this story a bit shorter: the longer we talked the more I kept realizing that I don't agree with everything she said and that slowly the feeling of being annoyed started predominating the original feeling of being excited. But the longer we talked, the more the girls enjoyed each other. Which ended in the other Mom inviting us over to their house - which we were basically standing in front of. The feeling of being thrilled about someone spontaneously inviting us over predominated the feeling of being annoyed for a second. In we went.
Lenara was all excited about the other girls' many many toys. The huge problem was, that as soon as we were inside, the other girl turned from friendly to possesive and refused to share her toys. She took away every toy Lenara touched. She wanted to sit on the chair Lenara was sitting on and so on. I know it's a phase the little ones go through figuring out "mine & your's" - alright. This was the first time, Lenara (and I) were faced with such a strong reaction (including screaming, crying, pushing, throwing things).
First I felt sorry for Lenara, who got more insecure with every minute. Usually she gets scared when other children cry (Lenara herself never really cries unless she's in pain). This time she just seemed very puzzled and thinking about what she had done wrong. I tried to back her up by telling her that she had done nothing wrong and next time we would have to ask her friend, if we could use this or that toy and find an agreement. But the other girl was taken away by her emotions. And it's not like I can't understand. If my Mom would bring home a friend I hardly know with her daughter, who both mothers are complimenting overwhelmingly and she'd be taking my car or using my computer without my permission, I'd be furious too. Even more when my Mom was telling me, I would be the one who's wrong.
Anyway, I tried to think of a way to calm the situation down. From experience talking, being precise and pointing out options has always helped so far. I know I could have explained Lenara easily that she should take another toy, because her friend was having difficulties with sharing right now. Or I suggested that they take turns. Or play together. Or she should show Lenara how to use this or that. Or that the other girl should pick one toy that Lenara could play with, so she could keep control for now and slowly adjust to a common playing environment. As much as I agree the older girl has to learn sharing, I think it's important that Lenara starts learning that she can't just take things, but she has to ask and realize not everyone is willing to share all the time. Dealing with disappointment and frustration is part of life and she'll have to get used to handling it. The best I can do is to chaperon this process instead of avoiding it or solving it for her. Either we would have found a good solution for everyone, or if nothing would have helped, we would have left in order not to over-extend the kids' capacity of taking such an emotional emergency and we could have come back another time. Probably the other girl would have been disappointed then (as I know she likes to have friends over), and maybe have learnt the lesson: not sharing = not playing together. Just to give you an idea about the way I judged the situation.
But the other mother kept yelling at her girl. At a volume that left a ring in my ear. Ignoring all my ways of trying to negotiate with the girl, giving her attention and serving as a mediator leaving the problem on the girls' level. Instead the mother told her daughter she would be evil, she wouldn't want her as a daughter like that, she wouldn't recognize her, she would be the older one and expected to share with the baby (don't you call my girl baby!) and her (the Mom) would be crying, if she didn't give Lenara the toy (what? It might have helped to stick to the truth - Lenara was sad, she was the one close to crying). Then again she switched to hugging and kissing her, asking her to be a good girl. Right before sending her off to her room for such misbehaviour and crying. How confusing, painful and emberassing that must be!
I just realize how hard this is to explain while I'm writing it down. Does it make any sense?
The other Mom I guess was emberassed of her daughter's behaviour, trying to teach a lesson and trying to protect Lenara. She only involved herself and her daughter in the conflict, without giving us a chance to interact and solve the problem among the 4 of us - whereas it actually should have remained a problem between the two girls. But as she was ignoring Lenara's reaction and everything I suggested, she simply avoided a real solution in my eyes. This was leading nowhere.
Plus, I felt treated disrespectfully myself by being ignored - as an individual and as my role as Lenara's mother. In my eyes we as parents should teach the children how to handle those situations in a good way. How to handle those intense emotions - that are just part of growing up. All she did was accusing her daughter in front of us in a way that I thought was inappropriate - using words that I thought are inappropriate.
I know I'm very sensitive (maybe over-sensitive) about this issue after having heard so much about the results of such behaviour at the psychotherapy hospital and having read psychological books (which include some of the phrases she used in the exact same words).
So I found myself in a really bad situation: in a room full of bad energy, trying to protect Lenara, trying to protect the other girl, trying to find a solution, trying not to accuse the other mother, wishing Lenara wouldn't have to witness all of that, feeling insecure myself about this kind of situation, trying to be polite to the host, trying not to judge.
Trying to be tolerant.
When we got home, my hands were shaking. That's how intense this experience was. I know it's not my right to judge or interfere in the way someone raises their child (why not acutally? Bc in our culture raping someone physically is condemned, but raping someone with words is not?). I know there are reasons for this mother to act this way. I know she has a different cultural background and has had some hard parts in her life (who hasn't though?!). Also I do not know the history of their mother-daughter-conflict. I know she loves her child and only wants the best for her. I know my solutions are not always the best either. I haven't had this problem with my own daugther yet, who knows how I would or will react then. I know I'm not a perfect mother either. I know I can't prevent Lenara from witnessing such scenes. I know.
Yet, it's my choice not to spend an afternoon with them again.
q.e.d.
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